Assertiveness is a very important feature that can help us a lot in our everyday life and in our relationships with other people. It is particularly useful at work. Unfortunately, many people suffer from a complete lack of it, which makes them easily exploited by others. It is very often the case that such persons are assigned much more responsibilities by their colleagues and management in a given company than it is in their competence. Of course, then they have a full right to refuse and say that it is not their duty to carry out specific work. But they don't. Instead, they stay at work much longer than they should, get tired of it, and do a lot of extra things. All for fear of one simple yet very important word - 'no'.

People suffering from a lack of assertiveness have problems with taking on too many duties, especially professional ones. With time, they fall into a real enchanted circle, and breaking out of it often borders on a miracle. With our behaviour we make other people accustomed to the fact, that we can be easily exploited, and we never refuse to do so, if someone entrusts us with any additional tasks. Then we are exposed to great stress and a multitude of duties, which do not give us even a moment's rest. Staying at work after hours and performing extra duties, even if not your own, is unfortunately a normal sight in the life of a less assertive person. However, it is worth knowing that assertiveness is a personality trait like any other. This makes it possible for each of us, when working hard enough, to develop sufficient ability to say "no" to significantly improve the overall quality of our lives. It is good to get some motivation for such a job, but of course it is not easy at the beginning. However, it is enough to realize how much time and energy we waste unnecessarily because we are not able to refuse anyone. Then such work on oneself will become, first of all, an investment, thanks to which one can really gain a lot.

However, let's establish at the very beginning what exactly assertiveness is. Contrary to appearances, this concept is much broader and does not only mean the ability to say 'no' - it is above all the ability to communicate with other people and build appropriate relations with them. Assertiveness is also the ability to express one's opinions in front of others. Assertive people do not allow themselves to get on their heads and they cannot easily impose views. However, this does not mean that they are hardened or closed to others. It is more about standing firm in one's own position when it is necessary. Assertive people are able to do this and not insult other people at the same time. It is therefore a question of finding a golden mean between submissive and aggressive attitudes.

The science of assertiveness is first of all the science of listening to the other person, accepting their opinions, but at the same time maintaining their own position when it is needed. Preserving an assertive attitude, especially for those with a more submissive character, is very difficult at the beginning. However, it is worth remembering how many benefits this can bring. This allows, above all, to build really good relations with your colleagues, based on true respect and lack of any ambiguities or insinuations. In addition, this will allow other people to learn about our true value. We will not allow ourselves to impose too many obligations or obligations on others, which will greatly improve our well-being and make it easier for us to achieve our own goals. People who are less assertive often do not realize that they are simply being used, and that the extra work they do is not at all as necessary as it seems. It is worth starting with this question when someone imposes something on us that we do not feel like doing too much - it is good to ask if such work is really necessary. If we really have to undertake it, it is good to negotiate in order to achieve the best possible conditions for ourselves to implement it. You should not agree in advance to the offer to stay longer at work. For example, you can offer a solution that suits you best, such as making it from home or at another time that suits you better. If the boss is still trying hard to convince us to do it, you can simply refuse to do it and say that it is not in our duties and we are not able to do it at the given time. Refusal is also a difficult art. It should be done firmly, but not aggressively.

Excessive use of phrases like "I'm sorry" or "I'm sorry, but..." is not advisable here. We must not be too submissive and make it clear that refusal makes us feel guilty. Denying someone in the right way will show that we have self-respect. We will not give up our plans simply because someone wants to put their own responsibilities on us. Many people are afraid to refuse something to others. Absolutely unnecessary. It has been known for a long time that other people do not respect someone who is too submissive to them and agrees to everything. Lack of assertiveness and eternal submission will not earn us recognition from others - people will not value us more just because we do a lot of work for them. We will gain much more respect by standing firmly in our position and simply not letting ourselves get on our heads.